An Open Letter To Myself

I'm sorry I altered you to make you believe than you were less than perfect the way you are.

I'm sorry I allowed insomnia to overcome you over men who used your body.

I'm sorry I've been carrying around the weight of others for so long.

I'm sorry I fooled you into believing the name callers and neigh sayers.

I'm sorry I forgot to listen,

I'm sorry I never trusted your intuition.

I'm sorry I wanted you to grow up so fast, making your childhood and adolescence now the distant past.

I'm sorry I've subconsciously keep all the labels you've been pegged, keeping them deeply seeded in your heart.

I'm sorry I quieted you when your tears needed to flow.

I'm sorry I made you numb the pain with distractions, drugs, and alcohol.

I'm sorry I never gave you permission to heal your wounds.

To be open, to be honest, to be raw, to be the real you --the YOU, you were meant to be.

I'm sorry we've grown so far apart.

Its been so long since we sat in stillness with one another.

For years I've denied you the enjoyment of your beautiful, healthy body. Picking apart, prodding for imperfections, and calling out every shortcoming with every glimpse in the mirror.

I've pushed you for perfection,

Painted you with blush,

Forced you to hangout with people whom you didn't belong.

And I, I am sorry I've been distant for far too long...

#forgiveness #vulnerable